One week down, about 40 to go...

So the first week of school is almost officially over. My youngest started Grade 1 French Immersion and is convinced he will be fluent by next Tuesday. I admire his confidence. I do think, however, that I shook it when yesterday he tried to share some of his language skills with me, with his declaration at our local McDonalds of "Je m'appelle toilet." Hmmm. Was the name calling starting already? I insisted, no sweetie, it's "Je m'appelle Nicholas."

(This is the same kid, who minutes upon landing at the airport in France a couple of years ago, passed gas and announced "My butt says bonjour!" I'm already looking forward to potty talk in two languages).

Yet he started to get quite irate and red in the face with his "my name is toilet" statement, insisting he knew what he was talking about until he finally blurted out "I can't think when I have to pee! I need to GO to the toilet!"

Multi-tasking has never been a man's strength.

The Real Poop

Anyone with young children knows that any conversations which revolve around "bathroom talk" are just the best. As much as we try to steer the conversation away from the poop and the pee, it's pretty much a lost cause. My son Nicholas likes to substitute the word "poo" for almost everything. "What do you want for dinner Nic?" I'll say. He'll answer "What do I want for poo?" Makes no sense but he kills himself laughing. He even sings "Doncha wish your girlfriend was hot like poo?"

So imagine his delight when I met up with a friend with her kids and took him to poo mecca yesterday...yes that's right, the zoo. Forget the lions, the tigers, the cheetahs (their poo is too small) - check out the rhinos, hippos, and wild boars. "That poo is like a coconut!" They just couldn't get enough of the different types, imagining who had to clean it up, what it smelled like...which led me to come up with a great idea for anyone wanting to invest in a kids entertainment venture. "The World of Poo". Build the venue in the shape of a toilet, create interesting display areas, and instead of a machine that says "Coffee" (aka the Science Centre), how about one which eloquently demonstrates flatulence? You could charge a fortune.

Now I've got to let the plumber in the door to install my new (you guessed it) toilet. The sight of the old one at the curb already has Nicholas in stitches. No shit.