Coffee, My Savior

Yesterday morning I got up at 4:45 to head down to the CityTV Breakfast Television studio (the threat of a snowstorm and the promise of a tanker full of coffee beforehand was my motivation).

I spoke with the lovely Dina Pugliese about my proposed 2009 Parenting Solutions.

Maybe I didn't get enough coffee, as I didn't speak quickly enough to get all of them out. Here they are in their entirety:

Infant:
- Recognize that parenting theories are not "one-size-fits-all". While it's fine to read all of the books and do the research, your baby is your baby. Go with your instincts.
- Remember that Mom & Dad are people too! Newborns can take over your whole world if you let them, and its important to find adult time, and alone time. It's healthy for all of you.
- Accept that advice is just that...advice. Most people dispensing advice are doing it to make you, or themselves, feel better. Take what you need and get rid of the rest - without feeling judged.
- Just because you are a Mom....doesn't mean you have to look like one all the time. You know what I mean.

Toddler:
- Realize "Toddler Time" is not the same as "Real Time". Unless you have to hit a precise schedule, allow time for leaf examining, putting the boots on "just so", and hunching over puddles.
- Know that "Perfect" is just a concept. The child you saw in the store acting perfectly, was. For that minute. Yours can be perfect for a moment as well. Indulge when it happens.
- They're adorable and they know it. Toddlers will get away with almost anything. Sometimes we have to let them.
-
School Age:
- People who say their kids never fight with each other are lying. When yours fight, just lay down the ground rules. Try not to referee. They're learning negotiation skills!
- Bedtime is bedtime. If you haven't established rules for sleeping already, its crucial when they hit the school age. Don't give in to "one more hour". It's not worth it
- If you don't have the time or the money to sign your child up for that team or this lesson, don't do it. The stress and pressure won't outweigh the benefits. Introduce them to "hide and seek" as an extracurricular activity.

Teenager:
- Accept that the teenage brain is different. And annoying, belligerent, arrogant, and mostly, always right. Spend a few minutes and reminisce about the times when you knew everything as well.
- Let them sleep in when they can. It's a stress reliever for them, and for you. What are they missing...fighting with their siblings?
- Acknowledge that you will lose your temper and swear at them. Words you've only heard on cable will come out of your mouth. Let it go. Apologize and move on. There are worse things you can do.
- Get in their face more. At this age, it's more important than ever to connect and communicate. Best way is over a family dinner, at least twice a week. Adjust your "regular" meal time around lessons etc if you have to. It's worth it.

My overall parenting resolution would be to not feel guilty about not wanting to be "Mom" or "Dad" all the time. We need to have fun, friends, and success too. Remember that work and career are important to everyone...even parents. Take pride in your accomplishments both inside and outside of the home and your kids will ultimately benefit.

Just don't call me if you see me on the street breaking any of these. I promise to uphold the swearing one.

Motherhood Hurts - When I Laugh

On Friday night I was invited to attend the Opening Night of Diane Flacks' one-woman show, Bear With Me, based on her book of the same name.

The play is running at the Berkeley Street Theatre (26 Berkeley Street, Toronto) until January 24th...so if you have the time to go between now and then, you should.

Diane is hysterical - I've only met her once before and clearly it was not enough time to appreciate her talent for creative dance (while shaking a fake pregnant belly), stuffing herself into a trunk (while miming morning sickness) and the ability to mimic everyone in her life that she met during her pregnancy and labour/delivery period.

Her impression of the mellow voiced yoga instructor going through her own personal crisis was just ridiculously funny.

Armed only with a Pilates ball, her childbirth scene was bang on.

"What's the one question every mother asks the minute her baby comes out into the world?"


(Wait for it.)



"Did I poo?"


If you can't get to the show, pick up her book.

If you need something more serious, I'll be on City TV's Breakfast Television (Toronto) tomorrow morning to talk about "Parenting Resolutions".

Laughing more should be one for everyone.

Make sure you get my good side...

Forget about what they say about why people go into radio - I just met some lovely people who should be seen as well as heard.

Earlier this week I dropped in to 97.3 EZRock in Toronto to talk about Resolution Solutions. I met Kim Stockwood, Colleen Rusholme, and Humble Howard early on a snowy day, and they were just as fun and funny in person as you'd think. All of them bright, bubbly and good-looking first thing in the morning.

Humble and I commiserated about the joys of teenage girls, Kim and I compared notes on the younger set, and Colleen and I did a cheer for her 3 month anniversary of not smoking. Awesome group.

Kim offered me her chair without knowing that I was disguising the fact I was hobbling in to see them on a broken toe. (How sweet is she? Her song "You Jerk" is still one of my all time favourites.) I'll admit it was tough to shake off the codeine effects when I got up at 5:00 that morning, but hopefully they didn't notice.

They normally have some really cool guests on (must have been a slow day when they booked me) so listen in when you can.

I limped back to my snow laden car and drove out to Mississauga to visit my friends at Rogers Daytime Television where we also talked about sticking to our resolutions...and fortunately they had a new set which included low chairs...and the ability to tuck my sorry foot under their new coffee table.

Okay, the toe. It's not "childbirth" painful, but it's a pain, nonetheless. The hardest part for me has been having to buy slippers to mitigate the damage of accidental foot stomps from my six-year-old. I HATE slippers - they make women frumpy and men look like wimps. I'm sort of a wimpy frump with mine on.

Next Tuesday morning I'll be on Breakfast Television talking about some Parenting Resolutions for 2009...hopefully by then I'll be able to wear camera-worthy footwear to show off while perched on their teetering chairs against their glass tabletop.

The only side-benefit? The doctor has ordered me NOT to work out for two weeks. Just when the gym is full of folks determined to stick to their resolutions. Lucky them.

Yahoo - Greetings from Calgary

Yep- I'm here in Cowtown for some television interviews - today Global News and tomorrow Breakfast Television. I'll be talking about Sleep Tips for Children and liberally dispensing some "do's" and "don'ts", which will hopefully help some of the sleep deprived and frustrated parents. I'll also be showing off some terrific bedtime products (check them out at www.tech4kids.com).

My second child Alexander was born in Calgary some 15 years ago - little did I know when I left here in 1994 that I would add two more kids to the brood and in the process make my kids my material, and my new career.

There were signs that babies and kids would leak into my professional life, as when I lived here, I owned and operated a children's and maternity clothing store. I opened the doors when Alex was just five weeks old - I'd just throw him in a sling and have my two year old Victoria watch over the kids' play area (she was a little territorial but there was no permanent damage).

Still I spent another eight years in corporate marketing before deciding to hang up the briefcase and pick up the pen. So glad I did. Hope others are as well.

And, for the record, I don't personally recommend the five week maternity leave. I'm much happier with my "eternity" leave.

Just do the math...

I sometimes feel that having four children is a lot. In fact, when we're down to just two kids, (as we were this weekend) my husband and I often say "what do people with two kids do all day?" We're half kidding...as we are well aware that it's all relative. When you have four kids, two is easy. When you have two kids, one is easy. When you have none... ONE (especially the first one) is REALLY hard.

The relativity hit me this weekend as I found some quiet time (only two kids in residence, remember?) and watched the classic movie "Yours, Mine, and Ours" with Lucille Ball and Henry Fonda. He had 10 kids, she had 8, and not only were they madcap enough to get married, she got pregnant (the logistics of finding time alone to begin with are truly boggling). Of course they all lived happily ever after - it was more a fantasy movie rather than a romantic comedy. Even their teenage son was pleasant.

Flash forward to me, yesterday, at Staples, pulling together school supplies for my kids (only four of them, not 19) it occurred to be while advising my nine year old that $12 is too much for a pencil case, that relatively speaking, I could handle this. Most of the time.

But if you live in the Toronto area, tune into Breakfast Television this Friday morning to see Alyson Schafer talking about "Mom Overboard", the theme of the Babes & Tots Show I'll be participating in on Tuesday, September 2nd in Mississauga. Yes, September 2nd...the first day my kids will be test driving those overpriced pencil cases.